It’s Not That You Suck at Your Job. You’ve Outgrown It, And That's Okay
If your job feels too small for who you’ve become, you’re not alone — and you don't have to tough it out. Midlife is the perfect time to walk away from work that no longer fits.
If your work feels flat and unfulfilling, it’s probably not because you’ve lost your edge. It could be that you’re pouring your energy, experience, and creativity into systems that don’t actually value them.
I’ve been there, and it’s a difficult cycle to break.
We stay in jobs that suck the life out of us because we were taught that stability is noble. That consistency is strength. That changing paths is selfish, risky, or unrealistic… especially when other people depend on us.
We stay because it’s hard to imagine something different.
We’ve internalized the message that this is just how it is. We think our exhaustion means we’re the problem, and if only we went to the gym more often, took the right supplement or found just the right life hack, we’d kick that job’s ass and prove just how valuable we really are. How rewarding that would be! Then we’d be happy.
None of it works that way.
Years ago, I asked for a raise after months of picking up the slack for coworkers who were either burned out or long gone. I’d quietly taken on higher-level responsibilities, including the workload of a senior manager.
Eventually, someone passed me a rate table. Every single man on that chart — including someone with a third of my experience — was earning more than I was. And not only were they earning more than me, but more than every other woman on that list, too.
So I asked for more.
And the man upstairs came back with this gem: “What makes you think you’re worth that?”
That set my imposter syndrome raging. I was sacrificing everything to that contract position, including hours of much-needed sleep, time with my children, and the peace of mind lost to late-night ruminating and brain-churn. Was I really the problem?
I wanted to fight back, to prove my worth, make him acknowledge what I brought to the table.
But my dad had a saying that has stuck with me, and he reminded me of it again as I wrestled with that decision:
“You can’t soar with the eagles if you’re busy entertaining the turkeys.”
And in that moment, it clicked: I wasn’t going to win this one.
I couldn’t change the structure of a toxic workplace. I couldn’t educate someone who didn’t want to learn. I couldn’t wait for a broken, enshittified system to suddenly start seeing me; to start appreciating the value they clearly felt was disposable.
But I could walk away. I could choose to stop over-delivering for people who underpaid and undervalued me. I could direct my energy in a way more productive and positive direction.
That was a terrifying prospect for so many reasons. I was a single mother, with little lives and a lot of bill payments depending on me. What if I didn’t find something else? What if he was actually right and I was getting exactly what I deserved?
Thankfully, he wasn’t. A better opportunity didn’t fall in my lap, but the time and creative capacity freed up by walking away from a job I’d outgrown enabled me to find new clients that were a much better fit (and paid better, as well).
Midlife is not the time to dim your ambition, or shrink yourself to fit a box someone else has built. It’s time to get honest about where you’re giving your best self, and whether that place deserves it anymore.
It’s time to get clear on the value you bring, not just in terms of skills or deliverables, but in perspective, resilience, creativity, and lived experience.
It’s easy to focus on salary, hourly rates, or the illusion of “stability.” But those numbers only tell part of the story. If your work constantly takes more from you than it gives back, that’s not stability. It’s slowly eroding your self-esteem, energy, and will to live.
Maybe you feel old and tired right now, but it doesn’t have to be your permanent state. You don’t have to burn it all down and move to Bali tomorrow, either. But it could be time for a major realignment. You owe it to yourself to ask:
What am I still tolerating that I’ve clearly outgrown?
There’s real, rewarding work waiting. I’m talking about the kind that fits who you are now, and pays you accordingly not just in dollars, but in time, energy, autonomy, and alignment.
It’s just one quick question. But give it some time and be honest with yourself. This deserves a thoughtful answer. You deserve it.
Say goodbye to your turkeys. You’ve got better things to do.
✌🏻 Miranda
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Really powerful piece on recognizing when you've outgrown your container. The turkeys line hits hard because alot of us spend years trying to prove our worth to people who never intended to see it in the first place. What resonated with me was the shift from proving value to choosing where to invest it, I've seen that same pattern in consulting when clients want to nickel-and-dime expertise instead of treating it like the accelerant it actually is. The scary part isn't walking away, it's realizing how much time we already wasted waiting for validation that was never coming.